Natural actors be like…

Natural actors are skilled in playing with our emotions, okay, maybe that’s not a fair assertion. Natural actors are instead skilled in the art of emotional displays. Emotions are contagious and we live our lives according to social rules and norms in an effort to hold our emotions at bay. Being able to send and receive emotions makes relationships with others easier to have, maintain, etc…and others are more comfortable with us in the process.

Natural actors can use their powers for good or evil as we know. Natural actors are excellent social chameleons, skilled at making us like them. I wonder, instead of being a natural actor is it not truer to be oneself, regardless, of the emotions and situations? Although, this may not be the smoothest path but it feels like the most genuine and everyone knows who or what is actually happening with other people.

Understanding emotions is an essential skill we all need to improve. Think back and assess yourself, I am convinced that most of us would give ourselves failing grades. Test yourself emotional aptitude at your next networking event, mixer or gathering with strangers. I wonder why do some of us struggle in these environments and others appear to thrive? Are some of us willing to suffer, fail, or be embarrassed, while others avoid suffering, failure or embarrassment with our whole being? It is that simple?

Lanes abound

lane

There are many lanes, how do we choose which lane is right for us? Does finding and staying in your lane amount to one of those secrets to having a happy and meaningful life or is it just avoiding others drama?

You know the expression, “stay in your lane” and most reasonable people know its wise to heed that advice. But does staying in our lanes limit our potential or expand our deep knowledge, focus and expertise in one area?

On the surface staying in your lane feels like a restriction. But on reflection staying in your lane might lead to less drama while allowing us to focus so we can grind and shine in this life.

Image above retrieved from: https://goo.gl/images/TvxB3u

 

 

 

Comparisons

Comparison-Apple-and-Orange

Comparing, we all do it and from what I have talked about with others and read and understand about social comparison makes me doubt there is any benefit in comparing ourselves to others.

Comparing up, my life is not as good as that person… comparing down, at least my life is not as bad as this person…we all have a proclivity when comparing. I am not convinced that any of this is a good idea but I guess the truth, pleasant or not, is simply that how we shape up compared to others matters to us. And others opinions and perceptions are important to us and comparison is how we gauge how we are doing. So we often measure ourselves using others success, money, attractiveness, etc… as a yardstick.

Is this a true ruler, can we rely on the measurements that we receive when we compare ourselves to others? I have my doubts. Comparing ourselves today is more complex than its ever been in our history. Our comparisons now span all sorts of boundaries that in times past would have been unheard of and the measures seem almost limitless but I am not sure if more equals better measurements.

Why don’t we compare ourselves to the person we know best, to the VIP, for most of us, in our lives on most days and in most situations, ourselves. I know this sounds self-centered but I think it’s also a truer way to compare, it’s simply a better measure then looking at others.

 

 

Change, good or bad?

Change, what makes it good, what makes it bad, I am not sure there is a definitive answer to this question but I think it is one we should think about.

Change at times surprises us, it is necessary at times, and mostly inevitable. So since we know change is going to happen, if we initiate it or not, we are left with only with our response to change. Our response determines if change is good or bad, its subjective plain and simple.

Change is something I think about almost on a daily basis because of the nature of my work. And I am always fascinated how we respond to change and often that response comes down to good or bad perception. If we see change as good we accept it, grow and learn from it. If change is bad we resist it, question why it is happening, blame others for it happening, and learn little if anything at all in the process. I know if given a choice we all would choose good versus bad response to change, if only it was that simple. But maybe it is that simple, what if we can just choose to accept change as good and fertile ground for learning and development and or perhaps the beginnings of something great.

I know that for many change is scary because we don’t really know what is going to happen and we lose control, if only momentarily, over aspects of our lives when change happens and any talk about giving up control usually is not something we want to hear. I suspect if I proposed the notion that we never really have as much control as we think and that fearing change should be the least of our fears, if at all, that many would tune me out. But, I know for myself that thinking and writing about change has helped at least one person, yours truly, so it was worth the time and energy spent on some level.

“Being Mortal” (Book Review, sort of)

being mortal book image

Warning: So if you are 40 years or older reading this book will open your awareness on how we as a society treat our elderly and its likely to scare you.

The book is fantastic! Being over 40 and then some with loved ones older than myself the book is really relevant and has caused me to think about my own mortality. I will admit on some days it was too much “mortality” but putting our heads in the sand is not a better solution. If we are fortunate, take care of ourselves, and have good genes, etc… most of us will have to face the realities this book looks at and I for one am glad I found this book.

Okay, full disclosure: I have read just over half of the book and so far this is what I have learned.

  • Growing old is viewed by many as a medical condition to solve and we often turn to medical practitioners who are not equipped to treat the “soul conditions” we struggle with when we age.
  • As we grow old our greatest fear is losing our freedom be the authors of our own lives, that is to make our own decisions, good or bad.
  • Interjecting life (other people, children, animals, plants, etc…) into the lives of our elders is a way to help them age with more purpose and meaning and less depression.
  • We have a long history of treating of our elderly badly which is not the most uplifting story but it is something we all have encountered or will at some point need to come to terms with.
  • As we grow older life essentially comes to down feeling like our lives have meaning and purpose.

 

My love, hate relationship with my art

Above are two recent glimpses of multi-media paintings that I think are the beginnings of an “ancestors” series of works.

I love making art, it gives me great satisfaction, especially, when I can make art for others. I hate, not the act of making art, but the sadness, at least it feels like sadness, that comes when I stop making art. I know the solution is obvious, making art gives you joy just make art and everything will be good-ish, if only it was so easy. I will say my saving grace is that my approach to making art is “worker like,” meaning, I make art almost like accomplishing a task. I have an idea or commission, I plan it, work it, and hopefully finish it, for me making art is about doing the work. If things are not going well revise or start over but keep working on it until its done. Perhaps thinking about it now my hate stems from me looking ahead to the time when I am not “doing the work” of making art or the time when I don’t want to make art. It’s complicated to say the least.