I read recently in an ebook by Mark Manson the author “The subtle art of not giving a Fuck.” In the ebook “The guide to Self-Knowledge” Manson presents the idea of being responsible for everything that happens in our lives, all of our experiences, and I thought that is scary but it makes sense. Also, it felt slightly similar to what Jocko Willink (former Navy Seal, Speaker, author) talks about in his book “Extreme Ownership” and his popular TED talk and YouTube channel “Jocko podcast.”
Okay, Manson’s and Jocko’s approaches are different but both authors bring that “in your face” and “take action and not sit back and wait for things to happen” style that I like.
So here are a couple of takeaways from Manson and Jocko:
Whatever happens in our lives accept it, this idea has its roots in Buddhism and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment therapy). Accepting everything is tough and there are specifics and some myths that need to be outlined and understood in the process. But in as simple terms as I can muster this morning, shit happens and if we accept it and then decide and sort out what it means to us and how it will impact our lives, we can gain more control, meaning in our lives and experience less anxiety.
Taking responsibility or ownership for everything gives us control of how we will experience things, what we will learn, how we will grow, etc…
The process of taking responsibility is a decision, a tough one, but a decision nevertheless. If we have a clear view of things, the unvarnished version of reality, something that takes practice to develop (both Manson and Jocko provide techniques to help you) we can find more meaning in our lives.
So ultimately owning it, whatever it is, can be a better way to handle the stuff that happens in our lives.